Sunday, December 4, 2011

Are social networks hurting the online dating business?

Side Note: This blog page now has a Part 2 added to the bottom of the original post. It comes from a deleted website of mine. When I was combining related pages together on other posts amid multiple blogs, I decided to add one here, as well. It is an outdated post about why Cyber Dating Sucks, but it is still humorous to read. Anyway, back to the subjects at hand...

Part 1: "Are social networks hurting the online dating business?" 

Before I go any further, I must say that the title used for this particular blog post is more or less just a string of words in the form of a question, used to make this subject sound more interesting than what it really is. In reality, "Online Dating" sucks anyway, so who cares, right? 

...But the question still remains: Are social networks (like FaceBook, MySpace, etc.) hurting the online dating business? In my humble opinion, I think they are, but I'd say that it's a good thing... 

Personally, I try to stay away from social networks and online dating sites; both types of "Cyber Entertainment" are full of fake people, to say the very least! No matter if it's an Internet dating site or a common online social network, anybody can create a profile and pretend to have loads of friends and wonderful assets along with their feigning multitude of magnificent personal traits that are to be envied by the masses. Ha-ha! What a joke! However, with all of these social networks forming amid the cyber-based community, I would say that the chances of connecting with potential mates, will be a little better on those sites as opposed to the typical match-making website found online. 

With that little amount of verbiage being typed, this subject is almost closed. I'm not even going to bother typing about what I think of all the social networks out there. Hey, if it floats your cyber boat, then continue to sail through the world wide web waters; just don't come through my internet boat dock, please, because it contains detectors for online asininity - among other things, of course. Ha! 
Anyway, the main reason for this post, is actually to provide a link to a page that I wrote several months ago on another website of mine, that humorously described online dating in a nutshell, and a big one at that (okay, it was quite an elaborate page, but well told nonetheless). The other reason for this stupid blog post, is to provide some funny images that depict Internet dating in full swing; enjoy... 

First of all, if you're interested, visit the web page I wrote a while back about this topic: "Looking for a date online? Cyber Dating sucks for many reasons..." [That link is no longer active, but it will now be Part 2 of this post.]

Funny & Realistic Images about Internet Dating:

Uh, yeah, speaking of Cyber Entertainment, maybe you should have just stuck with the simple forms that you get from web cams and/or pages like this:
"Cyber Babe Gallery - Carmen Bella - Sexy Images" [Link is no longer active]

---End of Part 1: "Are social networks hurting the online dating business?"

Part 2: "Looking for a date online? Cyber Dating sucks for many reasons..."

Are you a single male or female looking for love & lust in all the wrong places?
Just like a lot of things:  What works for some, may not work well for others.  Well, when it comes to dating online, that phrase needs to be changed to:  What sucks for many, is actual good for very select few.  Internet dating has grown steadily over the last several years, but for the most part, only certain dating services has diversified enough to make it easier meeting a mate online.  I've sampled a few types of "match making" cyber services a few years ago, just to see what all the hoopla was about.  
Then, several years later, I returned to the cyber dating game just to see what all has changed.  I must say, I think it sucks more now than it did before.  Don't get me wrong, there's hope for the ones who are stuck in a poor work schedule, have trouble meeting people outside of work, and so on.  But you either need to know what type of dating site to look for, understand what and why it sucks for many, and most importantly, you need to know what you're truly looking for (lust, love, long-term relationship, short-term fling, etc.)

Okay, let's get the easy part of this "online dating" analysis out of the way...

Notice the title of this page...  It refers to finding a date online and/or cyber dating; yeah, you get the point.  At the same time, notice that the title doesn't include things such as "fornicate online" or "hook up with a single person tonight" or "find a prostitute today" or "get laid within hours" or, well, I think you understand now.  When speaking about what sucks for many, on these Internet dating sites, this doesn't include finding a male whore or a lewd woman online.  In fact, if you're seeking a lifestyle that more closely resembles the ancient city life of Sodom and Gomorrah, there are some excellent services for this online.  You may end up with some STDs or get gang raped during the process, but hey, you ordered it so don't complain.  I'm talking about adult-friend-finder-type sites that offer matches who are into couple swapping, copulating in groups, and random types of other fetishes that is pointless to name on here.

Don't get me wrong, these types of sites are great for what they provide, but if you're going on a site called "alternative lifestyles" or "fling" or whatever some of them are called, that obviously promotes finding a partner within no time at all, don't expect to find love and don't bother calling it "online dating."  Ha-ha!  Most of these types of sites, allow you to put nude photos in your profile, send raunchy e-mails back and forth, and have erotic chat services where you can swap information, phone numbers, IM names, etc.  This is so easy!  It is like a legal Internet brothel mixed with fake photos, unknown people, scams, and the occasional honest, sexually unchaste person that you may have a great time with.  ...Hurrah, hurray!  Fun-fun...  So, if you're looking for lust in all the wrong places, say hello to cyber fornicating sites, such as I mentioned prior.  I guess you could say they "suck," but that would depend on if you selected to have an oral fetish in your profile, now wouldn't it?  Ha!

Now that we got the obvious out of the way, let's get on with what this post is really about...

Cyber dating, yeah, that's the main topic here.  The friendly sites like Match.com, eHarmony, and others of the like.  I must say, before Yahoo! Personals went to Match.com, it was at least fairly decent.  The IM service is what made it good.  Many folks have a Yahoo! Messenger, so if anything, joining their personals could, at the very least, get you a bunch of IM people you could flirt with, get to know, and possibly hook up with at a later date.  But, Yahoo!, along with their search engine, merged with MSN a while back, so now that dating service has changed to the Match.com format.  Speaking of the merge, Yahoo! also uses the same search engine as MSN, except now it is called, at the time I'm writing this, "Bing."  It seems to be an excellent search engine, and I use it all the time.
Well crap, I'm rambling now.  I need to get back on subject.  Oh, yeah, cyber dating and the several reasons why it sucks for many......

Some of the biggest reasons some of these well-mannered, proper, sophisticated-looking dating sites like "Match" or "eHarmony" (too many others to list) sucks for many, is the people it attracts in general. It is amazing at how stupid some folks really are, to think they are going to find their "soul mate" online. Personally, with there being billions of people in a world that is full of raging hormones, to think that there is one individual sole mate or "soul mate" for you, and I mean the numeric 1 and one only, is slightly preposterous in my opinion.  I think that is what's wrong with a lot of people, especially females, as they often have this illusion of perpetual rainbows and sunshine for their future mate, that they can never see clearly or accept the fact that you have to take the good with the bad, and that things in a relationship will not always go just right; there is no such thing as "perfect," and people just have to work things out, make it work, get over fights, and on and on and on.  This page isn't about the philosophy of dating, so once again, I'm getting off subject here.

Okay, so other people's high expectations are an obvious big slash to online dating.  Next in line, is something I call "fantasy profile."  You know, when people get to lie and pretend and tell all of these nice, wonderful things about their self, only to exclude the fact that they are providing fantasy details about their self to hopefully find a fantastic mate, dream date, etc., but forgetting that the other person will quickly find out that they are full of baloney, upon meeting.  I can give several examples of "fantasy profiles," but I'll just type about a couple of them really quick and then move along into the next trait of cyber dating suckness.  People who state on their profile that they are adventurous, love the outdoors, exercise 3 times a week, only to find out that they are fat, lazy, jobless, and are a big couch potato. People who type into their profile how they are looking for a nice guy who is honest and is willing to treat them like a lady with respect, only to find out that they are a queen bitch, and all of their other boyfriends were drug addicts, bad boys, abusers, and hell on wheels.  People who claim on their dating profile that they are highly educated, went to college, and make $75,000+ a year, only to find out that they barely graduated high school, can't even spell worth a crap, and work for minimum wage at a grocery story.  Stuff like that, is what I mean when I say, "fantasy profile."

Okay, so deceit is another factor that sucks for cyber dating.  Next up, is the illusion of travel.  

Yep, you're browsing through available singles, send an e-mail, swap back and forth, actually connect with the person behind the false profile with high expectations, only to forget:  "How far did you say you live from me again???"  Dang, I went and did a search on the dating site with the 50-mile radius thingy on.  Hmm, let's see...  I travel 50 miles to meet you, we most likely won't like each other anyway, but even if we do, I have to travel 50 more miles back, just to get home.  100-mile round trip just for a ???  Gas prices are outrageous right now!  See ya...    

Yep, this aspect of finding a single near you, is only part of the problem.  Many folks don't even put their correct location on there while trying to hide from locals (perhaps they are the ones who are cheating on their husband/wives or boyfriend/girlfriend), but the ones who do put the correct info, still often come up in your eager searches because you're simply not thinking about it.  Yeah, yeah...  The chat was nice, enjoyed e-mailing you, everything seems like it would work, but why in the hell am I travelling that far for a freaking date!?  Wait a minute, maybe I need to just get out more.  Why am I always on this damn computer?  This cyber dating thing sucks!  I wasted my money; I'm deleting my account.  Blah, blah, blah...  Ha-ha!  The point here is, unless you live in a big, populated city or are willing to travel great distances, most small cities won't have enough singles online, in your area, to amount to anything.  [Which might be why Part 1 of this page entitled "Are social networks hurting the online dating business?" makes more sense now.] Keep that it mind, or you may find yourself saying "this online dating thing sucks!"

Okay, so travel distance is an obvious problem for cyber dating.  Next up, is the good ol' outdated photos routine.  

Yeah, for example, you see some photo of what appears to be this youthful babe; talk to her a lot and even get up enough "balls" to go meet the mystery babe with the hot picture in her dating profile, only to find out that the picture was at least 20 years old!  Who are you?  Are you the grandma?  Where's my babe at from the dating site?   She says, with a rough voice, "wellllll, sheeeees riiiiight heeeeere, swivel hips."  Yikes!  You instantly flee from the has-been beauty queen that you found at the online dating site, who has now morphed into a wrinkled grandma with hormonal issues, get in your car and get the hell out of there, and fast!

Okay, so outdated photos can be detrimental to your cyber dating experience.  Next up, is all the "I'll tell you later" junk on their profile.  What is up with that?  It says, do you have kids? And some of these people will have on their personal information section, "I'll tell ya later."  Relationship status?  I'll tell ya later.  Religion?  I'll tell ya later?  Occupation?  I'll tell ya later.  Gender?  I'll tell ya later.  Ha-ha!  Okay, I was joking about the gender part, but really, if you don't want to tell anybody anything, then why are you even on here?  By the way, is that photo even a picture of you?  Oh, I get it, you'll tell me later???

Well, I have gone over some of the basic shortcomings for cyber dating and/or some of the reasons why it sucks for many people, but it doesn't end here.  It isn't just the people and their silly profiles that makes online dating suck for many, it is also the layout and the way the site monetizes for profit.  Sure, you can join most of these sites for free, but you can't do anything much, unless you pay - which is fine. BUT you have all of these "singles" out there with photos who don't pay, and never will pay, but the search results are decorated with these folks like bait.  Hey, join now so you can talk to them!  Wrong! A good percentage of the people on these cyber dating sites need to be deleted and removed so you won't waste time trying to contact 'em or whatever.  However, this could easily be remedied by lowering the membership fees so more people could interact, enable or make it easier to send messages through a messenger service, offer live chat rooms like some of the more, uh, hum, adult dating sites do, and let's get on with this thing!  But no-no-no, let's keep the membership rates high so only a small percentage join, but keep all the dummy accounts live or the ones who will never join, and let's make it even more difficult to communicate so you will have to upgrade to a platinum account or higher paying service, only to find out that you are one of the few fools in your area who wasted the money for this silly dating process to begin with.  Ha-ha!

---Side Note:  I'm having way too much fun writing about the sorry aspects of online dating.  I really have limited experience with it, but what little I've encountered and what little I've had others tell me about their experiences, led me to some of those reasons.  So don't think I'm some retarded, desperate chap who had horrible online dating experiences.  I just enjoy pointing out what sucks about it.  Ha-ha!
Personally, I've always found my mates offline.  Unfortunately, I usually meet them wherever my current place of work is, which is great when things are going well, but bad when things are not.  I've also been the moron who gets stuck in long-term relationships.  That may sound good, but when you finally break up, it ends up feeling like a big waste of time; plus, the longer the relationship, the harder it is to totally get over.  I often think, it would be better to go for the "quick sample" route, build my "fornication portfolio," then analyze the data, and make a final selection as to what I end up settling with.  Now is that a science or what?  Ha!

Bottom line:  There will always be crap in the way when looking for love, lust or that companion who is just right for you.  There is plenty of junk to sort through, and things you'll have to filter out - to find the gem you're seeking; that's just part of life.  Regardless of the method that you choose to find a date or mate, whether it is for long-term or short, cyber dating or offline, it is all a gamble and a risk you may or may not have to take.   At any rate, best of luck to ya...  You'll need it! ;)

---End of Part 2: "Looking for a date online? Cyber Dating sucks for many reasons..."

End of Post "Are social networks hurting the online dating business?"

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